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If you feel slightly drunk only after one or two drinks and this is not normal for you, or you feel a bit sick, then it may be that someone has spiked your drink. If with a friend tell your friend to immediately take you home and stay with you until the effects of the drink has worn off. If you are on your own or with a stranger tell the landlord or the owner of the pub or club and ask him to call someone you trust.

Never ever accept a lift from a stranger who could be the person who spiked your drink. In spite of taking all the above precautions unfortunately people do get their drinks spiked by abusers who then go on to rape the victim. If you wake up and are disorientated, have a feeling something is not right, your underwear may be dishevelled or removed, you may have unexplained bruises and other injuries, you may feel sore in your genital area, then you may have been the victim of drug rape. It is your choice whether to report this and if you do go as soon as possible to the Police who should take a blood test and urine test and see a doctor whether you report it or not.

The Roofie Foundation provides help and support to anyone who has been a victim of drug rape — and this can happen to men as well as women.

Their details can be found in the organisation list below. Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority: Helpline www.

Free for victims of crime, Birmingham location. Recent workshops have been for people bereaved by murder, manslaughter, culpable road death, victims of serious sexual assault and serious physical assault. Family Matters: www. First Person Plural: www. It provides information about how victims and witnesses should be treated within the Criminal Justice System and offers advice for those affected by crime.

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Information and answers are provided by experienced professionals in the victim support field and this website is completely anonymous. The Havens: www. Centres staffed by specifically trained experienced professionals who give medical help and advice, counselling, practical emotional support, help with deciding whether to report crime to the Police, advice relating to pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease.

Rape Crisis www. Also information and practical advice. It is open various times Monday-Friday, see link for details. RASA Centre: www. Advocacy support for those women wishing to report to the Police. Training in schools and for professionals around sexual violence. Covers all of South London www.

Respond: www. Rights of Women www. Victims Information Service: www. They can also provide information to people about their entitlements as victims and, wherever appropriate provide immediate emotional support to vulnerable people. The new website provides factual information about what happens after a crime and what help victims can expect, as well as information on Restorative Justice and how victims of crime can go about claiming compensation.

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There is also a function which allows people to search for the services available in their local area. Victim Support: www. In society men often have the belief that they are expected to be strong, to be able to defend themselves and for this reason many men often blame themselves for the abuse and turn the anger on themselves for not preventing what happened. Nobody asks to be raped and the blame belongs on the head of the abuser.

A victim of rape or sexual assault does what they have to do in order to survive and often fighting back would result in additional pain and injury being inflicted — sometimes the best choice to be made at that time to survive and keep alive is not to fight back. Some men feel guilty because they may have experienced an erection and some may have ejaculated. Some men may question their sexuality - does it mean they must be gay - NO - any man can be raped whether heterosexual or gay or bisexual. Because of feeling that a man should be strong and not show emotion many men choose not to report the attack for fear of being seen as weak and sadly this also prevents many men from asking for help.

There is now more acceptance and understanding that men too can be raped and there are specially trained police officers who can help male victims - it is important to remember that asking for help and recognising that you need some support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Unfortunately in many parts of the country the services providing help specifically for male victims are very few and far between and more funding undoubtedly needs to be put into this area so that male victims are not left unsupported, isolated and alone.

Real men do cry - it is not a sign of weakness to show emotion - and crying to release emotion can be therapeutic in itself. As a result of some men finding it more difficult to verbalise their feelings and emotions they are often keeping inside them tremendous amount of anger and rage and this may be dealt with by alcohol, drugs, self harming in some way or another.

There are some services throughout the UK which provide counselling and support to male victims, there is also support available online on different websites, and also through telephone helplines.

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Remember the blame is on the head of the person who abused you, you did not deserve to be raped or sexually assaulted, you cannot allow the abuser to mess up your life and you owe it to yourself to get as much support and help as possible. I know we have had it reported from callers to our helplines that when approaching some services male victims have not had the help they have needed and have often had bad experiences of being ignored or not believed. If the first person you approach cannot help - then try another person until you do find the help you deserve to have.

Believe in yourself that you will get through this - that is your best answer to the person who abused you - you will not let that person or persons destroy you - you deserve to be happy and to live a happy and fulfilling life and rape victims can and do move forward with their lives. You will need a lot of strength and a positive frame of mind but you have been hurt enough by the abuse and do not deserve to be hurt further by destroying yourself.

Access all the help and support you can to help you to heal from the trauma you have experienced. See also organisations listed under Victims of Rape and Sexual assault above, many of which provide help also for male victims. National UK charity based in East Sussex offering telephone helpline, counselling and support, one to one, groups and support for partners and families. Male Survivors London www. Male Survivors Trust www. Sue Lambert Trust www. Helpline is now delivered online, by text or by email only. Opening hours are Monday to Friday Victim Support Male Abuse Helpline: - Helpline for male victims of domestic violence or sexual abuse.

Many of the services which provide help and support to victims of rape or sexual assault, will also provide counselling for partners of rape victims. For a partner to see someone they love traumatised by rape or sexual assault, will naturally bring up all kinds of feelings and emotions in the partner. Many partners feel intense anger at the abuser, anger and guilt at themselves for not being able to protect their partner, and it can help to have someone to talk to for yourself whether that be a friend, family member, helpline, counsellor. As a partner of a victim of rape you will need all your strength to support your partner and be there for them.

Therefore, try and find a way of letting your emotions out in a safe way and get as much support for yourself as you can. Your partner may not behave rationally, may one minute be bursting into tears — the next may seem to be going through the motions of everyday life as if nothing had happened. Your partner may have outbreaks of rage, aggression, anger, mood swings one minute and then be depressed, isolating herself and not wanting any kind of physical or sexual contact. Your partner may decide to report the crime to the police or may decide not to report it and this may differ from what you think your partner should do.

Ask your partner how you can help if they have panic attacks or nightmares, flashbacks, ask them what they want you to do. Try to not take this as if your partner is rejecting you, your partner needs time to rebuild trust and confidence and needs time to heal from what has happened. Allow them to take things at their own pace.

Give your partner reassurance and always stop any sexual activity when your partner wants you to. Find out as much information as you can on the effects of rape and sexual abuse and how you as a partner can support that person. This can be found from the internet, from books, and again, get support for yourself if you need it.

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It is terribly distressing for families and friends to see someone they love and care about in pain and suffering. It can make families feel completely helpless not knowing what to do or say. Giving your support and being there for your loved one is a help to the person who has been raped.