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One night, we decided we had enough. My sister had been warned earlier about the pranking after my cousin and I complained about it. We stayed up late, chugging soda to keep us going until all the older kids had fallen asleep. Then, we pulled out the markers and began drawing all over each others faces. Smears of red and green and purple, we left no areas untouched. We even added little marker streaks to our pillows, to make it look like somebody's hand had slipped while they were scribbling on our faces. Then we went peacefully to sleep and waited for the chaos to ensue.

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Everything went as planned. Their pranks had been mostly harmless until now, they certainly never did anything that would stain or last more than a couple of hours. My sister and her friends were in deep trouble, and we got off scot free. The highlight of this story for me is a conversation from the following day between my sister and my grandpa: sister: But I didn't do anything!

So we're supposed to believe they did this to themselves? She claimed she "no longer felt safe" shopping at Target if she might "be forced to use a bathroom" with a trans person. The horror! So for her wedding the following month, I got her a Target gift card. MusicOfTheAinur Report. On vacation, my boyfriend and I stop at the Louvre. They have those standing barriers with ropes to guide the line up, but the ropes aren't pulled across - because people are grown ups and can see that its just a single line down one side of the front display.

Cue a group of young, bitchy girls in blinged-out clothes deciding they don't have time to stand in line.

They go to the front and stand behind the person currently paying. They pretend to be oblivious to the other people in line now giving them death stares. I am not in line but I see their little act. So I go along and start hooking up the ropes.

The girls are gossiping together and ignoring everyone else around them, because hey, what do they care right? So they don't notice when I move the barrier just a smidge forward The look on their faces when they turn around to order their coffees and find themselves quite obviously outside the queue was just Huffing and puffing, they had to totter their high-heeled asses to the back of the now much longer line-up.

Enjoy your coffee, ladies! My Ex cheated with a married man. He now lives with her. He is a POS.. I logged in, erased all her shows, then recorded only the show "Cheaters.

Now, whenever he's playing, his dog will walk by and sniff the button, turning it off mid-game. Obligatory "not me, but": In Texas, there is a law that allows the US to take certain possessions to satisfy a debt owed, such as from a lawsuit. So this defendant had been committing Medicare fraud, got caught, has to pay back the money. He's also a total prick during the lawsuit -- obstructionist, rude, etc.

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When the US finally has its judgment and he's pleading poverty, the US Attorney that ran the suit basically ends up walking through the "impoverished" guy's multi-million dollar house to hand pick what is going to be seized. He takes the big ticket items that he's allowed, but it's not going to be enough -- so then he just starts taking little shit to piss the guy off.

Book half-read on the nightstand? Can't take the garage -- but you can take the garage door-opener, so I don't know what else he took but I think the idea is brilliant. DeaconFrostedFlakes Report. In college early 's , I lived with several guys in a suite.

One liked to call me "chunky A", yes, I was chubby. I asked him politely but firmly to not call me that. He laughed and did it more. I proceeded to call up every info-merrical I saw on TV to send him baldness cures he was losing his hair , Tourist information from places like Iowa and Nebraska, had information sent to him about adult bed wetting, etc. He accused me of it, and I told him, why would I do such a thing to him? I kept it up for 2 years while he lived in the dorms. His junior year, he moved out to an off campus place. I found out where he lived and I waited a couple of months and started it all over again.

Yeah, I bombarded him with junk mail.

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Tsquare43 Report. I know a few homophobic people I would like to sign up for gay newsletters and magazines. We were sitting by a pool once, and a woman stood over my wife and started spraying sunscreen all over herself - and my wife. We asked her nicely to please move and she ignored us and kept spraying. When we left, I took one of her flip flops with me. I make my husband a sandwich everyday for work. Make sandwich, give it a little smooch, put into baggie.

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It gets no kiss. Yeah, enjoy that sandwich, jerkface. I hope it tastes like despair. I like to end my relationships amicably. I am friends with a few of my exes. This one, however, has been a weapons grade douchebag to me for a couple of years and then threw me and my children out suddenly with nothing but the clothes on my our backs and made a few choice death threats to me.

Don't worry, the police are involved. Well, a few hours earlier I went with a police escort to gather the rest of mine and my children's belongings. He was sitting on the couch with his new gf, both drunk af. The officer stayed with them. I went to what used to be our bedroom, packed my belongings quickly, packed my children's things, then released crickets under his bed, in his closet, in his dressers, and in what used to be the childrens' bedroom.

I made sure there were more male crickets than female, so they'll be noisy as all hell while attempting to find a mate, and these little buggers will eat anything, wood, clothing, and they're very good at hiding during the day. I work on a college campus. It's the season for orientation and parents are herding their kids around checking out the school. I misread my schedule arrived at instead of pm and had a few hours to kill.

I decided to take a walk around campus to look at the changing trees.